The failure to find oneself

The failure to find oneself

   Existentialism is a philosophy that considers the existence as a beginning topic for the reflection. However, what means exist? What exactly does the statement "I am"? Is a simple fact that experience of my existence? Existentialism is not just some ideas or theories, but is a designation given to the ideas of a huge amount of philosophers who have related interests in the nature of existence and the meaning of existence.

   Many literary critics and philosophers respect Søren Kierkegaard and Franz Kafka for their emphasis on subjectivity in human life and the importance of the individual as opposed to the group. The concern in finding the truth of one's existence is the origin of Kierkegaard's work. Nevertheless, the task of finding out the truth and get to it is not easy, according to him. Discover the truth is essential to know oneself. In addition, achieving the full truth is not like go a lighted way, sometimes it is a jump into the absurd, it is necessary to surrender to the unknown, the dark, the uncertainty.

   The first jump to be given by the individual is to overcome the appearances and the ceaseless search of immediate pleasures. Thereby which allows overcoming this stage is the awareness of their own existence and it is the beginning of a new stage: Ethics. In the Ethical stage, the individual learns how to live with responsibilities and duties. However, Kierkegaard argues that the individual is not satisfied just to fulfill its obligations, because then the individual would be a slave of duty, in other words, slave of its exterior. In this stage, the person becomes aware of his human condition, of his sin and his error. The individual lives at this moment the despair.

   Only through regret and despair is possible to overcome the Ethical stage and thus be ready for the next stage: Religious. The individual discovers the truth and the meaning of his own existence at the end of this path. The existence in the world is temporary and finite. Therefore, the individual must commit the life in this endeavor, it is necessary to find out the meaning of his existence. The individual only discover or find the truth when he know himself.

The importance of overcoming despair

   The process of becoming oneself is discussed by Kierkegaard under the Anti-Climacus pseudonym in “The Sickness Unto Death”. An important issue of this work is not just that the human being lives in despair, but despair is universal. All individuals live in some way in despair, but each person is responsible for his own despair. For this auteur, despair is a kind of sickness of spirit, caused by a misunderstood of who we are as human beings, in others words, as selves.

   One of the important concepts to comprehend the discussion of “The Metamorphosis” is of despair. Despair is a disorder that occurs when the basic foundations of person’s life have been destroyed. According to Kierkegaard this leads to a loss of self. But the main point is that despair can be painful, or it can actually be a relief depending on the attitude of the person suffering it.

   “The Metamorphosis” is about the experience of facing the Absurd, existential despair, and freedom. One of the means of Franz Kafka uses to transmit and discuss about this experience is Gregor's metaphor. He shows the danger and futility of negation in view of these existential concepts through struggle, decline and death of Gregor. It is an existentialist parable that has sought show the danger and futility of denial in the face of these existential concepts.

   Despair puts the human being face to face with your life. Despair prompts the individual to make a choice: to continue living in an illusion or to choose live passionately, changing the existence. Be aware of the despair can be considered a tiresome, difficult and painful choice.

   The Metamorphosis’ story begins with Gregor waking up and finding that he had overslept. Then he sees that his body turned into a strange bug. His transformation is a direct representation of the absurd in human life. It is a life-changing event that happened with what appears to be a loyal and gentle man. The more he is able to accept and be authentic to the absurd, Gregor seemed to be freer and happier, despite their difficulties.

   But after a time, when his sister suggested removing the furniture so that he can crawl on the floor, he begins to be afraid of losing his ego. This is the start of Gregor’s final decent in to existentialist despair. The situation of removal of furniture and the end of his ability to work can be seen as examples of the futility of seeing the identity and meaning from the outside things. Even at his end, he held onto his old life vision. During his last moments, Gregor dreams of being normal again, as he could find a new meaning for himself.

   I believe that one of the lessons of this story for the existentialist is the risks of denial in the face of existential struggle. The process of decline, which results in Gregor’s death, is a way to demonstrate what can happen with people who cannot find personal meaning within themselves from the experience of absurdity and the existential despair. In a way, it demonstrates the problems of getting carried away by despair. The result of this metamorphosis to Gregor is physical death, while the result for the existentialist might be the end of a purpose for living. I conclude that this story may strengthen the ideal existentialist to find meaning within a self and not from the outside world, which is consistent with the Kierkegaard’s theory.

   As “The metamorphosis” helped me understand certain points of Kierkegaard’s theory, the film “Requiem for a Dream” also has elements that help us to understand better the complex idea that despair may represent in reality. Aronofsky, the director of this film, and Kafka offer a representation of existence through transformation. The film also shows the process of seeking existence and as “metamorphosis”, the characters cannot find the truth. The final act of the film shows us the total destruction of the dreams of the four characters.

   The subjectivism of “The Metamorphosis” has open space for a variety of interpretations of Kafka’s work. The movie “Requiem for a Dream” also has a range of analytical possibilities. The Kafka's work is universal in so far as deals with anxieties and obstacles faced by ordinary men. But there is one question that is worthy of attention: why did all these changes occur? The reason for this transformation really matters? What did Kafka want to teach to the reader about Gregor’s transformation? Perhaps Gregor would like an escape from his life, or it was because his life had already been wasted... Perhaps if Gregor had reflected about this question, he could not reverse this situation, but at least understand it better, being able to learn, grow up and change.